Butterbur Sprout

I often call my mom while I’m driving to work. There is 11 to 13 hours time difference, depending on the time of the year. So when I call in the morning, they are usually chilling out, watching TV in the evening. We usually chat about little things in our lives.

My mom is a very interesting person. She is nothing like me, and to this day I don’t really understand her. I don’t think she really understands me either, though she knows me very well. Yet we love each other to pieces. Actually, my relationships to other family members are also like that, too. We don’t have much in common any more, and it’s hard to relate to each other. But I’m just happy to have them and they seem happy to have me. That’s totally outside of the concept of “closeness” I would normally associate with my significant relationships.

Come to think of it, neither my dad nor my brothers ever told me that they love me. I have a vague recollection of asking my mom if she liked me. She said yes (maybe I was 5 or so years old?), but had a perplexed expression on her face and was clearly uncomfortable with the question. Don’t get me wrong; my family is one of the most loving bunches of people I know. It’s just that word of affirmation was not the primary love language in my family (funny that it’s my most prominent love language now). In any case, I have learned to receive their love in other love languages. Now I want to learn which languages they feel most comfortable receiving my love in.

Going back to my mom, the way she expresses herself is very different from the way I do it. She seems to have a hard time sharing about things that are highly emotional for her. I’m the opposite. I just dish out what’s in my heart at the time. If I couldn’t let it out, I would explode. It took her more than six months to tell me when my brother got divorced. I also didn’t know for a year that my brother almost went blind because of stress-triggered diabetes, and had to get surgery for his eyes. At first I was upset about being left out of important things in my family. But later I realized my mom needed to process the events first and settle her emotion before she could talk about it.

This morning, we talked about butterbur sprout hunting they just went to. My other brother and his wife took my parents to plum flower viewing (seasonal event) and butterbur sprout hunting (less common seasonal event) last week. My mom was telling me how nice the weather was, and how the whole car was filled with the rustic fragrance of butterbur sprout on the way home. My brother (he is a very good cook) made tempura butterbur sprout and miso butterbur sprout for them. My mom said they have slightly bitter flavor. I’m guessing it’s kind of like good Brussels sprouts?? I’ve never seen them in real life, so I have no idea.

I’m just happy. I’m so happy that my brother and his wife are showing love to my parents. I’m so happy that my parents are enjoying their retirement. I’m so happy that they are happy. Butterbur sprout hunting is such a happy spring thing to do.